the sky in my world is purple with yellow dots

week of merriment part 2

So actually, this is about 3 weeks out of date at this point, but hey I’m getting to it, be cool (I started writing this two weeks ago)! Saturday night. The plan started out as a “Yusef needs a quiet Saturday night after the last couple of days”. Someone once said that a plan never survives its first encounter with the enemy. That person was had a suitably impressive Military pedigree. That person also happened to be right, oh so very right.

Dave and I decide that since we haven’t been to the churrascaria in a while, we would hit the Malibu Grill in Baileys. Its good, its inexpensive (for a churrascaria anyways..), and its close by. We also figured that since it’s a nice night, we would chill for a little while afterwards on my balcony, and then figure out what to do. First off, I really think a cattle train overturned somewhere in the area that day, because the beef just kept coming, in all forms (ribs, NY strip, Sirloin). We ate well THANK GOD. You’ll understand why later.

After dinner we decide to just head back to my place, since we really didn’t feel like going anywhere to drink, and more importantly my strategic alcohol supply was getting too large and needed to be culled. My first inkling of how the night was going to end up should have been when George decided to drop by. Whenever George, Dave and I get together, things tend to get kind of alcohol-y. One of the benefits of being friends for more than a decade is that they already know that I’m an idiot, so I don’t have to waste time pretending I’m not. The second inkling of how the night was going to end up should have been when I made the very intelligent decision that it was ok to drink my Shiraz out of a large coffee mug. Yes coffee mugs hold liquid just fine, but when drinking is involved, depth perception goes to hell. Did I fill a 1/3rd of the mug or ½…..mmm better put in more just to make sure.

It was a really nice night outside, so we figured we would chill out on the balcony for a while, have a drink, and chill out. The Sheisha (hookah), or as Shari later referred to it, my “baby bottle” came out after the first bottle of Shiraz. Mmmm Wine and Jasmine flavored tobacco….. damn good combo. Of course If I’m going to smoke, I need to drink some more too (you know it only makes sense!), so the 2nd bottle of Shiraz made its fateful trip out to the balcony. I believe it lasted a full 7 minutes. Things get a little blurry after that, but I seem to recall a couple of bottles of sweet wines making it out to the balcony, followed by some Rogue Imperial Stout. Now I got to say, how rockin is a beer that has a higher alcohol content than red wine. I love my 12% ABV stout. I specially love it when it comes in 750ml bottles! Yay rogue.

At some point during the night, Shari came over to hang out. Apparently she was at a bachelorette party in Sterling or Ashburn or somewhere way out on the western horizon (things were pretty damn blurry at this point!!), and wasn’t ready to call it a night yet. She had been SMS’ing Dave for part of the night, so we were expecting her. Of course she did not honor the balcony’s request of bringing her hot friends with her. Tsk Tsk Shari, the balcony is displeased! Well suffice it to say that I was well on the way to toasty-hood when Shari stopped by, and Dave was close on my heels. George was “taking it easy” that night (which for him means only drinking ONE bottle of wine…). So the fifth bottle of wine made it out to the balcony.

Somehow we end up on the issue of my ummm.. spectacularly disastrous dating history of late. Cause the old days, the new days, how we’ve been recently, awesome new games, sweet new cars… not good enough topics of conversation… I mean really what better time to discuss my monumental fuck-ups then when I’m 300 sheets to the wind, with George and Dave there to fill in the parts that I was TRYING to leave out. Well anyways I think everyone was entertained (and knows to keep their mouths shut). Oh and Shari, if these stories make it into your book, I want a mention and royalties *grins!!*.

Well I think it was about 4 a.m. when Shari and Dave decided to it was time go home. They were nice enough to help me clean up a bit before they left. I on the other hand had enough coordination and thought cohesiveness to drag a trash bag over to the couch before I promptly passed out, but not before turning on the discovery channel somehow. The final tally of the night: 6 bottles of wine, and 2 big bottles of that Rogue stuff, one really wasted Yusef, a plastered Dave, and a happy Shari and George (who between them I think drink like 1.5 bottles of wine). Mind you this information is gleaned from the after action report of empty bottles left on my kitchen counter, since god knows I couldn’t count worth shit at the end of the night. Which actually begs the question, I wonder how the hell I managed to light all those coals for the Sheisha.. it was on all night long….. Well I hope that part was entertaining too!!! I digress.

I came to (waking up is not the right word…) as the suns rays were caressing my eyeballs. Folks, if you plan to pass out on your couch, close the shades. This is especially true if you have a huge bay window that points due East. The sun’s warmth was really nice though, since I didn’t really think to get myself a blanket. In time, nature began calling, so I slowly but surely began the long process of getting off the couch. A short stop in the kitchen for some water, and then onto the bathroom. This is when I realized that I had two major problems. The first one was that I had promised my mom I would have lunch with her and my sisters later that day. Now this generally wouldn’t be much of a problem except for the fact that problem number two was around….. that being that its 9 a.m. Sunday morning and I was still plastered.. I mean I couldn’t even walk straight at this point, it was that bad.

I made an executive decision to go back to sleep, and deal with my mom’s wrath later. I had pretty much sobered up, and started the evil hangover phase when my mom’s first call came in. *RING* *RING**Ring* grab cell phone, try to turn off, fail, rip battery out of cell phone, go back to sleep. It wasn’t till around 2pm that I finally decided to get out of bed and try to accomplish something that day. First I had to deal with the wrath of mom, who insisted that since I missed lunch, I had to make family time that evening, after all my sisters won’t be in DC much longer. O.K. fine, sure thing, can I go now? Thank you. The world stopped spinning around 4:30pm.

So you fine folks can imagine how much fun dinner with my mom and sisters was while I was in this state. The hilarious part is that both my sisters knew exactly what was going on, but didn’t say anything in front of my mom. My mom on her part seemed rather oblivious to the whole situation. Of course the minute my mom went up to sleep both Badria and Hessa started in on me about how much fun I had the night before, and was she hot, etc. Got to love the family, but hey at least Daisy was nice to me?

For all the suffering though, it was worth it!!! What a Saturday night!!!

Keep tuned for the next installment of the week of merriment!

posted by Yusef @ 1:36 AM